Lone Wolf

in the oddity of everything that has happened the time to rejoice is near
i know ive matured more then i have in the past year than i have in the past 17
in the year i have been through every step of the way the one whom cheers me on
the one i love, still by my side... we met during the cold of the the march to the new summers
i honestly would never have met him if i had just walked by the girl whom had loved him so much
however she was still to young... then again i'm not one to talk...
this meeting not only helped her, it saved me... from myself
dying slowly inside i had nothing that was left to deal with the world i had been put to and brought to the depths of Loneliness and Hatred it self... however this encounter was to bring an end to that
i helped the girl whom soon ended up being like a little sister to me
i met Alex and Cory
they brought me to the place i am now...
A better me...
i'm not afraid of the Loneliness anymore
After all I have them

Detachment

Detachment

The people I have met, they seem to disappear

Someone that I care about, she seems to have left as well

Still there all the time, just things seem different

Just a stale feeling, much different then the caring smile I had come to enjoy

Hardly able to keep in touch with the one I love

He seems to be waiting for me all of his time

Where I just seem to float about looking for him as well, with no direction

The strength of many is stronger then the strength of one

It seems that without keeping together, we surely fall apart

The friends of my past have left and floated onward

I have been stuck on the way of a tree

Just staying waiting

Waiting for someone to wait with me

Just to lay down with me and forget the world around us

I found some whom do so as well, but not all have stayed as long as I have

The reality is really a visual realm to the people I’ve know

Losing my sense of humanity

Not quite insanity

I lay here

Detached from the world

By: Kiba Ookami

Corrupted Newborn

Corrupted Newborn

This is the start of something new

But to have something new you must destroy something of old

In other words New comes with sacrifice, a sacrifice from past creation

May it be how useful something may be, to the importance it had once held

Thoughts of the past, some good, some bad, still from the past that started what we have

What we have now is only because of what we had before

Constantly revising what we have done, making stronger, better, faster or just look nicer

Unknown to the beseeching people that it may just be what brings us to the pits of greed

And with greed, one tends to grow to few then many and finally worldwide greediness

The greed doesn’t stop with infecting those people; they turn for better hosts for jealously

Jealously simply causes many around them to be in rage

Rage brings about painful wars that bring about the hopelessness of victims

Hopelessness brings out the ideal of blaming someone else for their own mistakes

Which only brings out more suffering to the people they are around

Soon revenge becomes apparent and the constant retaliations of loss of life

The loss just brings the hatred of many to continue retaliating on the retaliators previous

Judgment of right and wrong have been thrown away long ago, making these things easier

The corruption goes on farther but the point is made that it continues

Soon it will be the undoing and soon we shall just be among the numbers…

Or maybe we already are among the numbers…

By: Kiba Ookami

Fake wings

Fake wings

It feels like I’m everything, but nothing

My memories, synthesized, artificial

Mind is blank, yet filled, but never speaking

This body same as before, no, it has changed

These eyes have become worse, but still they do better then before

Heart stilled, beating, still beating, fast, then slow, then fast again

Ears are that hear things no one else hears, but still they hear nothing

Nose that smells everything, but cannot smell everyone

This feeling of friends, so comforting, yet it hurts

Complete is how I seem, yet cut into pieces is how it is

Among the Light, but as one of the dark

I fit in with others, yet I feel as an outcast

Feeling loved, but hated

I show happiness although I have been hurt

My emotions are nothing to me, but everything to those around

Don’t want this, can’t do this, must stop this, it just won’t work anymore

I have a mask that covers my face, covers myself, my true self

I'm not alone; I see thousands of masks that people wear upon their faces

But each mask is different from one another

None are the same, but close in shape

Mine is an outcast to this

While others are shaped to the human heart and mind

My mask is shapeless and ever-changing

Only few of the others I go among have “Chipped” masks

They are able to show “true” feelings

Where as I am unable to state the pity of this mind to these people

This mask gets in the way and stops my words

With stopped words, stopped wings shall be what are there

For I have no wings that make me, myself.

No true wings

By:

Kiba

Ookami

simple thinking

It’s Not Tomorrow Yet

Can’t think clearly today~

Don’t know why~

Maybe it’s just a Tuesday~

Never knew why I~

Feel this way~

It’s a beautiful day~

And its way too bright~

Because the sky ‘aint gray~

Cause the clouds float by~

Like any other day~ (Hey hey~)

It’s starting to rain~

But still I say~

It’s beautiful day to me

Because my mind’s so calm~

And the rain keeps me

True to my way~

Because it’s just another day

Another beautiful day

(Whoa ho ha)

It’s a wonderful day~

Just need to say~

That today is now night~

With a much delight~

The night so fine~

Moon glows with a shine~

That excites the mind~

And makes the bad so kind~

Another beautiful day

And it all starts the same

Again the next day~

With the wind so fair~

It seems I’m there~

Out on the peak of the world

With the Sea near by~

Breathing the air~

With these wonderful things I see

Kiba Okami

Poetryz

Elders

Incapable of fun,

Burnt minds,

Saddened hearts,

Simple depressions,

Unable to eat,

Rejecting drinks,

Growing weak,

Trembling from pain,

Sleep is fleeting,

Walking is torture,

Laying down is simply sore,

Running is out of the question,

Swimming is shear suicide,

Death laughs at your simplicity,

Always looking towards the light as a way out,

When darkness is the only way to bring out the light,

Tired of being more then you are now,

Replacements can be found,

Some young and others old,

But never are they able to remember what you’ve done.

By: Kiba Okami

Use

No rest, no need, not dead, I appease,

Still tired, still there, still living, I am giving,

Every hour, every place, every person, I am not gone,

From time, from here, from people, I am not still better,

At timing, at staying, at helping, I am not still here after everyone,

Unrest, unneeded, undead, unfulfilled.

By: Kiba Okami

Life by the sword

With sword in hand, I charge to greater places,

With sword in hand, I face great challenges,

With sword in hand, I fight many things,

With sword in hand, I fall in love,

With sword in hand, I lose my friends,

With sword in hand, I face the world,

With sword in hand, I almost die,

With sword in hand, I simply age,

With sword in hand, I die by the sword I held.

By: Kiba Okami 10/17/2011

The pity of false evils

Incapable of simplicity

Not wanting other opinions

Never listening to anyone else

Always leaving the marks of hate

Making the children cower in fear

Still tormenting the people of this town

Waiting for the “Hero” to appear and end you

When that “Hero” appears, what will you do?

Will you go and face them with a calm mind?

Will they make you cry in pain as you hit the ground?

Will you face them with sword in hand?

How about a lance or a knife?

If you lose, will you run?

Separate ways

 Separate ways

Look at a blank page and tell me what you see,

We see it as nothing,

However it should be seen as a clean slate,

A slate of possibilities,

A place of new order, new hope even

I do not see that I should be the one who writes on this “Pure tablet”

I do not see why I should do anything

I do not see how I would affect you

I am nothing more then a figment of your mind

Just an illusion of this world

Just a human on the earth below us

Only you could see me as I am

Only you could hear what I had to say

Only now did I see I was dependent on you

Only now do I see we must part ways

Only now do I leave

I leave for the better of you and I.

Next time I do hope you to say Hi

Until then I am no more involved with you then that empty page is to me

Kiba Okami

Stray

No need to lose ones ideas,

Just bring them to reality,

That is what must be done,

To keep this idea from fading back into darkness,

The darkness of the human mind,

Never to be seen in the light of day,

Forgotten and lost,

Almost like a stray,

They search for attention,

They cause disturbances for attention,

Thinking they’re the greatest things to have come into this world,

When in reality they only make problems in this world and become hated by many,

Those whose go to be with a stray will be a stray,

Those who save a stray will keep a stray

Then that stray will be tame, nothing more then a pet

A pet is nothing more then a slave that is shown love

Still people find joy in being a simple pet

Perhaps it’s not that bad

Losing all freedom

In exchange for a simple life

Is it a good trade?

Is it worth losing?

Those thoughts have crossed my mind and now I see

I see that it is nothing more then a petty dream

You’ll be abandoned by most humans for simple things

You’ll lose all your pride, what little you have left

And what’s more you’ll lose yourself to them.

“Them”

The people whom have taken you

Kept you alive in the safety of their home

Fed you whatever they felt you should eat

Contained your sickness and eased your pain

Is it a good trade?

Do you feel like you should be stuck with them till you die?

lavender blood

With a simple life and simple things it seems that this world has no need

Never a thought of what to do and always stumbling upon your own words

Sadly it is not as easy as it should be for no one has noticed the pain in your eyes

Overwhelming pain that cannot be fixed, cannot be healed, cannot be rid of

Although you feel this pain, you still live; still pushing on, just waiting for the time of death

However Death does not come right away to those who wait for it

Death only walks toward you, you and everyone else that still lives

Many try to run from Death and in turn die in more gruesome ways than intended

Those who treat Death as an old friend shall surly end in a peaceful manner

Still it brings much sadness to those whom still live simply wishing to be with loved ones whom have passed away

Unable to keep moving on through the tests of time as they crush, stab and slice at the living as they go on

Simply leaving the fragments of your past to show the new generations what was done and who did it

In no way letting them believe that you didn’t exist, that you were apart of this place, this home

As time went on you still kept hope as you let yourself float off into the world as it consumed you whole

Not allowing you to breath but still you kept your calm, until finally you snapped

Killing any and all who opposed you in your way of peace, even if you had to kill you still felt at peace

Guilty conscience did not bother you as you constantly murdered the innocent minds of the common people

As the hearts of those people become corrupted with hate and revenge, they start to kill as you did

Soon the cycle continues and as it seems that all is calm it really only continues as a mindless cycle of hatred and despise 

Insanity

Blade your in hand,

And gun in the other,

Mind is set to keep its edge,

Not worrying about the lives you will change forever,

You hurt, injure, break, destroy, murder, and do it all over again,

With MY Blade and MY Gun,

I am here to stop you from your rampage of false insanity,

For you give TRUE insanity a bad name.

Death for Sale

things are as they would seem... at least that im ok on the outside... but in reality im just slowly awaiting the black wings of death to come bring me home.

many fear death and try to live forever, but to what reasons... still i cannot explain why its this way, but im willing to say that pain is just another way of your body telling you your alive.

still holding fast to my carefree attitude as always, lost some "love" from the one whom tamed me, becoming distant from the friends i had, and still trying to keep moving forward.

life is only one time... yet someone whom has gone through much suffering during this short time he had been here is still alive, and instead of wings of white purity, wings of darkness take the place of them.

love is hard to come by, you dont know what you have till its gone, and you dont know who you will be meeting later on.

although it seems that life is full of pain, many of us deal with it everyday, if not many then some, if not some, then us.

time is a river that always flows, some wish to go back up the river in time to change what has been done... but this is only a wish for them... nothing more.

droning on as i have, you might say im not feeling good, but on the contrary, i feel better now then i did when they where hurt, always hurt, never left alone, always with that pain in them.

mind of many, heart of gold, body of paper, easy to unfold.

new vibes and usual breaking

As the new moon grows closer so to do the human feelings spread through my body almost as if to take my heart and soul

Unknowingly I've been sent into many problems and resolved them...the only one i haven't solved is my own

although it seems hopeless one continues because they feel something good coming in the end

Even those whom have been in this eternal hell for such a great time, they too have hope for an end

as the moon grows dimmer my being grows more frail, even more feeble, and all to well failing

this breaking is normal to me as it seems to be all that is repeating in my cycle of living, perhaps not the only thing but the only one I've noticed on my own

although these things are common for me they always hit me in new ways

never knowing what comes from it or why it has

through out this time i have had on to the full moon almost intoxicating my self in it as it seems to fill me with happiness...

but lately the moon has been saddened by me and as so it leaves me once more for me to wait another 30 nights to slay these creatures of discrimination

perhaps it is just my mind playing tricks or it be true, either way its good to be with two

as the moon leaves me i have two... one of Ocean and one of Sky

perhaps the moon is jealous of these two, these two at my side

to find what is true you must look at all sides of a coin; front, back, and the side 

three sides not just two 

although some find this to be insane for they perceive it to be only two; Good and Evil

Where as i see all sides to any story 

this seems to be nothing but ramblings of some one with problems but, in truth we all have issues

to those people i wish you luck on your dilemmas and love for you heart

Renewed pains

Came and went, hoped to forget, this one i protected,

Once again the time of remembrance hinders me so,

Unable to make myself flow to the war that i haven't battled,

Rage ensuring my death, never to again walk this path,

Able to retain my thoughts kept in the deep recesses of my mind,

Gone through the darkness of light and continued onward,

Even the dead have come to congratulate me.

Courage to retain my cool and the face what scares me most.

When life give you a blade you use it to cut a path to walk,

Isn't this what the young people are told,

So that they may live by the sword and soon die by it,

Done in by those of greater power,

Overconfident of themselves thus blindly fighting,

Most of which to soon die anyway cowering in fear.

Wisdom to have the knowledge of ages and experiences of many.

Possessed by overwhelming hatred,

Only to die a pitiful death,

When they only wanted revenge,

Eventually they are consumed by its death fires,

Revenge of the ones they loved, but soon causing more damage then healing

Power to contain ones overwhelming emotions and use it against ones enemies.

Courage, Wisdom, Power

The Three of Balance 

The Three of Living

The Triforce

Beasts

Although the tides of time have come and gone, they still exist, these times of life, death, happiness and despair

With each tiding that comes anew, so do the things know as Beasts

Some creatures of great pride and good disposition are mistaken for Beasts

The Wolf is one of those whom many have ridiculed, rejected and hated for pointless reasons

Some say these Wolves are nothing more then Monsters, others say they are the tool of the devil

Those humans deserve nothing in life, to just blame anything they do not understand

In truth Wolves are by far the most Proud, Prideful, Gentle, and Accepting of all creatures

For it would seem that humans only feel jealousy toward the Wolves admirable traits so they come up with ways of Demonizing them

Turning them into nothing more then petty Beasts in the eyes of human

Even still Wolves have even nurtured human children, brought them life, and still humans Resent them

Human society is becoming a realm of Hate, Jealousy, Lust, Deception, Greed and Stupidity

Nothing more to say then a pitiful realm, Where as the realm of Wolves is Worth being in

All of these thoughts although useless to me now May help someone later

          These are the words i speak so take them to heart even if it hurts

                                              -Kiba

This Problem I See

Human hearts are weak...

i've known this but never given into it

in hopes it may not be true even though

mine has fallen to Darkness numerous times

but someone tends to find me...and i leave the darkness

but soon after they leave me...they leave for others, asking if i'd like to go with them...

it just brings the Darkness closer... the Darkness of fear...

fear of not being accepted... fear of lost friends...

Half a year later and i've learned to deal with it...

and A few Days ago i Feared...

not for myself but for someone Deep in my heart...

few are deep in my heart but for those who are...

if i needed to die for one of them...id gladly give this life as long as i see them happy in the end...

for i wish them all to be happy... for they have helped me keep hope for life...

this one deep in my heart... he confessed his love for me... that was before he knew my secret...

if he confessed to me once more... well id have to make sure i look at least cute when i meet him face to face...plus he's a little bit "weird"...like me... like all of those deep in heart...

just each in their own ways...

i just hope he doesn't end up like i did...

before i met them...

the ones deep in my heart....

Alex

(The one of Great hope)

Cory

(The Master of Angels)

And

Milly

(The Mistress of this Beast)

To you three I owe my life

of wings and hearts

from time to time my wings tend to fail

i try and fly but to no avail

wishing these wings would help heal a heart

one filled with heart break & sadness 

he needs my help... but... he wont heal from my helping

Willpower and forgiveness are the only things that are going to help him

Three real hearts must be mended together so these Seven in this body may find peace

perhaps these wings might be able to heal his heart...his wings are plucked.... so ill lend him mine... if they help then he can keep these wings for his own.... ill be fine on the ground...perhaps he may be able to swim once again... that'll be something i hope to happen soon... like an oceans tide under a full moon...a beautiful Blood Red Moon... a rare beauty to behold....

Faint of Mind and slowly dying

This mind is starting to fail

This heart is consumed by loneliness

these eyes, they see no one

no one to love or be loved by

all they see are humans

humans consumed by greed, some by lust and others by jealousy

these people come and go 

to where i never know

I don't stop to ask them

for i fear i may become one of them again

a pity among myselves reborn

the failed life, filled with hate once more

soon this hate brings about greed

then greed pulls lust ever so close

lust brings the birth of jealousy

and jealousy just causes more hatred all around

all the while poisoning the heart

corroding the soul 

and seeding them with more poisons and acids

as it eats you out, soon you have nothing left

your nothing more then an empty shell

a shell of your former self filled with holes

and these holes are near impossible to fill, no matter what you do

just having you leak out of your self to its own will

never to return, because...

this heart had failed

The Revival

Its not always

A fight between

Good and evil...

Sometimes its hard to tell which side is what..... in fact

Most people only think that 

"If it looks HUMAN then it must be on my side

Especially if its fighting a BEAST"

................

It sickens me sometimes to think of human ways

................

I am the one that is in need of the BEAST to win...

To win this war inside of me....

For this war is one of demons and angels....

.............

Wolves.... strong and deadly when angered....

But always caring and loving for their pack...

......That is what i want for myself to be......

loving and caring.....

not of the humanoids......the Demons i so much wish to be left alone from....

.....But there is still some humanoids....some that i consider angels....

......................very few.... but they are worthy of this love i feel towards them....

at least i believe in them is what i mean.....

................................

The Demons inside of me are still there...... but i will only be with these "Wolves"..... this pack.....

My Friends.....

They are there for me.... even when i want to be no more....

For that i focus my life towards their happiness.... 

As the Crimson Wolf inside of me wishes....

For these People....

No These Fellow Wolves....

These Wolves of kindness... and love....

This is my Revival....

...................

With My Pack

the begining of my revival

i've promised not to hurt anyone anymore but before that i needed to cut part of my heart out... so that i may help the one i have guarded in the real world...

....Oddy....

she is probably still angered and upset... but that is for the best... i don't deserve such a girl to love me... but i messed up... i waited too long...  i needed to end it sooner... we got too deep... as its said in the "hedgehogs delema " the closer they get more they hurt each other...

i found out what it meant first hand today... on the last day of June, 2011... i had to break up with her...

she was like the fine glow of the sun... i longed for the moon to appear...no the Blood Red Moon of my life...im not sure if she...he.......they are going to show... but i am going to be stronger now for i must continue to live...no... i need to be revived... revived by that Blood Red Moon....

...................................where are you..........

................................

................................

as it seems this savior is actually part of me... so i shall become my own savior... and in doing so i shall be reborn... and will find somewhere i belong...with my friends, my True Friends....

so now i shall be The Crimson Moon Wolf for it is who shall revive me... before its too late... before i lose myself i must Care and Guard Those I Love.......

The forgiveness i shouldent deserve: but Angels forgive

i kept my truth hidden from my friends but have always shown my true self... just not my physical self... so with this i have finally shown myself to these friends that i have held so dear to me... but i feel as though i have betrayed them...

even though i have betrayed them... no scratch that... told them of my true physical self... i was forgiven... now i will not take that for granted of coarse for i have been accepted now..................................... it feels nice

i now will never betray anyone again... i will be more than i ever was... i will... finally become the wolf i so wish to be... one of love and truth... i feel this is my turning point... for now i Will be there for my friends...

the name of my birth of witch my mother and father have given me..........

is Benjamin Michel Burton....

But from now on i live as Zero, Kiba, Moko, and finally Ouka...

what you call me is up to you.......

for i have no regrets for these names

for they are the names i have been given by my friends

These friends that I love III:better thoughts

I can't remember when i started living in "this" world but that doesn't matter now...

I've brought "Mokoto" up to lv. 27 and finally am able to wear the angelic necklace i so wanted to wear...

"She" can heal wounds and revive the dead...

But "she" can't speak without someone behind her... me...

I've been told i can heal the wounds of the heart... but i can't heal my own...

upon truly meeting Cory and his story i wanted to help heal his heart... of coarse with the help of Alex, who was there for him before i had even known them...

Alex and I will be there for him....

even if he pushes us away, WE WILL BE THERE FOR HIM....

..........................................

.................................

.......just gotta let us in.........

The truth hurts this glass heart

i had finally been able to trust someone....

no... more then just "someone"...

i was able to trust two people...

but... they only knew me as a girl....

i Physically am a boy... but my heart is of a girl...

a more eastern kind of child I've been called before... stuck in the west...

wishing to be accepted by these people...

Alex...Cory...

even if i am not Physically female...

i still love you guys...

so it pains me...

it breaks this glass heart...

that i hurt you...

i never wanted to hurt you guys...never...never...

so please forgive this pathetically sad wolf that you tamed... and loved... and cared for...

for "she" has told you everything about "her"...

for "she" has spoke "her" heart to you...

.... but "she" is a "he"....

                  but he still is the same wolf...

                   so please forgive him.................

These friends that I love II: feeling useless

As i noticed that i could not help much in battle i wished to be able to do so... i felt like a burden...

"Zandos" started using his archer "Makeout_Paradise"... while i was still feeling a little useless...

i was only good at talking with them...

"Maki" (aka "Makeout_Paradise"), and "Angeal-sama" (aka "Angelord").......

Angeal-sama uses a fighter and tended to be very silent but kind...

i eventually learned of why he was this way... A terrible childhood... i cried when i learned of his misfortune... something i thought i was unable to do anymore...cry that is...

i was wrong... i was dead wrong...

i still feel tears welling up whenever i think of it... his story... his childhood...

Eventually I left my mage and went on as "Mokoto_" the cleric...

in doing so i promised myself i would not hurt anyone again...

...i couldn't keep it...

i told these two my secret....

...........i wasn't a girl..........

This Heart of mine

I've been told many times of my "kindness"...

its's only self hatred...

although i act kind to people i still get hurt in the end...

i do what i can still to ease these people of their troubles...

but i'm still unable to confront my... other selves......

for this heart of min is split into 7....

they cause me Grief and Rejection...

nothing but sadness...

but even through all of this...

.....i was accepted .....

i was accepted into this group...

in "Fiesta"... 

by these people that i cannot live without...

My True Self...

The side of me i want to be most apparent in my heart... My Loving side...

Not my self hate...

So these people will always be in this heart of mine... for they helped me...

....they helped me to love myself....

These Friends that I Love

I started an MMORPG because of my boredom...
more like my cowardice...
I chose a Female Mage of the name of "Moko_"...
the name came from the nicknames of my old friends IRL used to call me...
They said it was their way of calling me their good friend...
...
then they disappeared...
at that time i became alone, no one to talk to...
no one but my selves...
My 7 deadly sins took over...
i was myself one minute, then Lust then Gluttony then Hatred the next...
finally my Hatred Consumed me...
so i fled the real world... I  went to "Fiesta"...


there i met an archer named "momichi"...
she seemed troubled, so i helped her as "Moko"...
We became friends almost instantly...
The boy she liked, "Zandos", came and met up with her and myself... he and "lilly_baby" showed up...
we got introduced... Then "Angelord" showed up... i was a little nervous about him but he was ok...
then we talked & talked & talked... they all became my friends.....................................................
................................................
I had finally started to like people again

Sadness & Hatred

as my sadness deepens...

so too does my hatred of myself...

for i feel as though I've betrayed my Dearly Beloved friends...

One of Great Flying Angelic Deity...

The other of Great Aquarius Wings of Water...

While I as the Earth feel Great love for them but cannot be with them for i see that i am not to float among them for i have no wings to fly...  

The only way i may be with them is if My Angelic Deity bestows me the wings i need to live among them

The Great Sea beacons me to follow but i feel the sky distrusts me...
wishing i was truly not a burden...
Thus my Hatred towards Myself...


     for 
            Alex
                &
            Cory

Sadness of my Heart

My Heart wounded...

My mind troubled...

i wish for the happiness of my friends...

even if i must be cut out of their hearts...

severing  ties may be the only  the only way to fix this,

but i wish it not to be...

for i wish to laugh and be with those friends i hold dear...

for they have made me into someone better...

someone who cares, loves, breaths and truly lives for the ones i deeply want in my life...

although i hid myself as a girl...

i always spoke my heart to you guys

for
     DJ_Angelight
         (Cory)