Kokoro o henkō suru (Changing heart)

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Watashi ga tsukutta mono o machigai gakushū to ima, watashi wa sorera o shūsei shinakereba naranai.
(learning from the mistakes i've made and now i shall fix them)


Watashi no kokoro wa ai no watashi no rikai suru yō ni henka shite iru
(my heart is changing as to is my understanding of love)

Watashi wa ima, watashi wa ai no watashi no pasu ni wa ōku no akuji o okonatte iru koto o shitte iru... Shikashi, ima watashi wa imanotokoro tekisetsude wanai ka shūsei shinakereba naranai

(i know now that i have done many wrongs in my path of love... but now i shall correct what is not right as of now)


Watashi wa totemo aishite kangaete iru koto hitotsu wa, hontōni watashi wa watashi no pātonā to shite torubeki monode wa arimasen
(The one that i have thought i loved so much, is really not the one that i should take as my partner)


Watashi wa kare ga watashi no kokoro de tsukuru kettei o nikumu yō ni seichō suru to kakushin shite iruga, watashi wa kare ga amarini mo watashitachi no tame ni nan shiyou to shite iru mono o miru koto o nega~tsu
(i'm sure he will grow to hate the decision i make with my heart, but i hope he too will see what i am trying to do for us)


Watashi wa kare ga ue ni ikitaidesu. Kare wa ai o motomete kare no kokoro no jūryō to shite watashi nashi de motte irubeki ka ikite iku tame ni
(i want him to go on. to go on living how he should have without me as a weight on his heart in search of love)


Kare wa, jibun no igai de no ai o mitsukeru hitsuyō ga aru watashi no ainotameni kare ga seichō suruhitsuyōgāru monode wa arimasen
(He needs to find the love that is other than my own, for my love is not what he needs to grow)


Kore wa watashi ga kare o hōki suru to itte iru node wa naiga, kare wa jibun jishin de seichō suru ni tsurete, kawarini kare wa aru
(this is not to say i will abandon him, but instead be by him as he grows on his own)


Watashi wa sore ga watashi wa chōdo kare ga ankā to shite watashi nashi de zokkō suru koto ga kon'nan ni naru nimokakawarazu, hijō ni sukunakutomo, kare no yūjin no mama ni suru
(i want to remain his friend at the very least, even though it will be difficult i just want him to continue without me as his anchor)


Watashiniha tenpu sa re, kare wa natte ori, sore wa sore wa kore o yomu yō ni narimashita kare no tame ni aru node, koreha itami o tomonau yō ni naru monodesu.....
(attached to me he has become, and that is what will make this as painful as it is for him now to read this....)


Shikashi, karera wa seichō no saidai no keitaidearu to shite, atama o tori, korera no kotoba o kii te watashi wa ima teikyō suru koto ga dekimasu
(But take head and hear these words as they are of the greatest form of growth i can provide now)


" Anata wa Arekkusu ga, anata wa itsumo watashiniha jūyō ni narimasuga, watashi wa mohaya taizai suru koto wa dekimasen... Anata wa ima sugu ni ikanakereba naranai, kore o i~tsu te itaikedo... Watashi wa anata no pātonā ni naru koto wa dekimasenga, yuiitsu no yūjin "
("You are Alex, you will always be important to me, but i cannot stay any longer... you have to go on now, it hurts to say this but... i can't be your partner,but only your friend")

Unbeknown to the world outside

This World has grown cold in the time I've seen,
Perhaps it is just me... or maybe it seems True,
I've lost my way in this desolate plain,
Found again by the ones I hold so dear,
Soon to fall back into the ruins of my childhoods fond memories,
So again I have lost myself... not to the world but to myself again,
Bringing the Sleeping pups that shape my future,
Again I've brought the few whom I hold so dear...
They haven't run from my past,
Nor do they seem to leave me now...
I live this life that is before me, as I have with any life I had had...
My final words for now shall be...
"Enjoy the life you have now... You could have had worse"

Countless Times

Lying Almost Half-Dead, Unable to move

"This Isn't The First Time"

But... Somethings Different

Even Through These Numerous Times This Happened

It Never Bothered Me After The First Time

I Hadn't Worried About My Health.

This Time Was Different, I Had Someone That Cared.

If I Died On Him Now What Would Happen To Him?

Would He Be Alright?

Would He Still Be Who I Love So Dearly?

....

It's Different This Time

Fight

Upon the Graves of fallen Comrades and family in Arms

A Grueling, Sweltering, Explosion of a War that was never meant to be

Constant Fire, Shouts, Screams and Cries of Death

Slowly losing ourselves to the Chaos Surrounding

Still onward they continue they’re Battles

Still onward they Fight the Darkness of the Unknown

Even the simplicity of pulling the Trigger has brought about Complicated Pandemics

Yet still they continue to Fight and die among the others

Leaving the world that had been so cruel to them

And still the living continue to Fight against the “Enemy”

Although it is their life, they have it controlled by others

Those beings that bring so much pain and suffering

Yet, still… we listen to them

Do they want this?

Are they Willing?

Do they have any free will at all?

Do they really need Death of Comrades?

Does This War have any meaning?

Although they pray for peace, why does it never come?

Are our lives nothing more then mere toys for the Cruel Angels that watch us?

No matter how many times I stop and think about this,

I can never come up with an answer

By:

Kiba

Ookami

A Dream without words…

Blinding white, howling air, cold breath

Heavy panting, moving fast, fur below

Riding a large creature to somewhere

Where will it bring me?

A village in the mountains

An alter of fire

An expecting young Maiden

Soon to have her unborn be given to the gods above.

White blinds of cold, piercing winds, frosted gasps

Armed with Bow and Knife

Riding the Alpha to somewhere far from where he came

Am I hunting…or searching?

People gather around the alters warmth

Waiting for the sacrifice to come about

The unborn child of the future mother

The Sage of the village brings about motions of hope to the youth

Freezing sheets of frost calm to show Black Tails flowing from earth

Rushing turned to Darting as the sight brought fear and hope blended

So too did the griping of the weapons on hand

Am I going to kill someone… or save them…?

The young woman with protruding belly and Kimono slowly approaches

Her Guardians give her a reassuring embrace

Sage of the temple motions for the girl to head towards the alter

Hesitantly she follows the Sage as if it be the last thing she will do

By: Kiba Ookami

Lone Wolf

in the oddity of everything that has happened the time to rejoice is near
i know ive matured more then i have in the past year than i have in the past 17
in the year i have been through every step of the way the one whom cheers me on
the one i love, still by my side... we met during the cold of the the march to the new summers
i honestly would never have met him if i had just walked by the girl whom had loved him so much
however she was still to young... then again i'm not one to talk...
this meeting not only helped her, it saved me... from myself
dying slowly inside i had nothing that was left to deal with the world i had been put to and brought to the depths of Loneliness and Hatred it self... however this encounter was to bring an end to that
i helped the girl whom soon ended up being like a little sister to me
i met Alex and Cory
they brought me to the place i am now...
A better me...
i'm not afraid of the Loneliness anymore
After all I have them

Detachment

Detachment

The people I have met, they seem to disappear

Someone that I care about, she seems to have left as well

Still there all the time, just things seem different

Just a stale feeling, much different then the caring smile I had come to enjoy

Hardly able to keep in touch with the one I love

He seems to be waiting for me all of his time

Where I just seem to float about looking for him as well, with no direction

The strength of many is stronger then the strength of one

It seems that without keeping together, we surely fall apart

The friends of my past have left and floated onward

I have been stuck on the way of a tree

Just staying waiting

Waiting for someone to wait with me

Just to lay down with me and forget the world around us

I found some whom do so as well, but not all have stayed as long as I have

The reality is really a visual realm to the people I’ve know

Losing my sense of humanity

Not quite insanity

I lay here

Detached from the world

By: Kiba Ookami

Corrupted Newborn

Corrupted Newborn

This is the start of something new

But to have something new you must destroy something of old

In other words New comes with sacrifice, a sacrifice from past creation

May it be how useful something may be, to the importance it had once held

Thoughts of the past, some good, some bad, still from the past that started what we have

What we have now is only because of what we had before

Constantly revising what we have done, making stronger, better, faster or just look nicer

Unknown to the beseeching people that it may just be what brings us to the pits of greed

And with greed, one tends to grow to few then many and finally worldwide greediness

The greed doesn’t stop with infecting those people; they turn for better hosts for jealously

Jealously simply causes many around them to be in rage

Rage brings about painful wars that bring about the hopelessness of victims

Hopelessness brings out the ideal of blaming someone else for their own mistakes

Which only brings out more suffering to the people they are around

Soon revenge becomes apparent and the constant retaliations of loss of life

The loss just brings the hatred of many to continue retaliating on the retaliators previous

Judgment of right and wrong have been thrown away long ago, making these things easier

The corruption goes on farther but the point is made that it continues

Soon it will be the undoing and soon we shall just be among the numbers…

Or maybe we already are among the numbers…

By: Kiba Ookami

Fake wings

Fake wings

It feels like I’m everything, but nothing

My memories, synthesized, artificial

Mind is blank, yet filled, but never speaking

This body same as before, no, it has changed

These eyes have become worse, but still they do better then before

Heart stilled, beating, still beating, fast, then slow, then fast again

Ears are that hear things no one else hears, but still they hear nothing

Nose that smells everything, but cannot smell everyone

This feeling of friends, so comforting, yet it hurts

Complete is how I seem, yet cut into pieces is how it is

Among the Light, but as one of the dark

I fit in with others, yet I feel as an outcast

Feeling loved, but hated

I show happiness although I have been hurt

My emotions are nothing to me, but everything to those around

Don’t want this, can’t do this, must stop this, it just won’t work anymore

I have a mask that covers my face, covers myself, my true self

I'm not alone; I see thousands of masks that people wear upon their faces

But each mask is different from one another

None are the same, but close in shape

Mine is an outcast to this

While others are shaped to the human heart and mind

My mask is shapeless and ever-changing

Only few of the others I go among have “Chipped” masks

They are able to show “true” feelings

Where as I am unable to state the pity of this mind to these people

This mask gets in the way and stops my words

With stopped words, stopped wings shall be what are there

For I have no wings that make me, myself.

No true wings

By:

Kiba

Ookami

simple thinking

It’s Not Tomorrow Yet

Can’t think clearly today~

Don’t know why~

Maybe it’s just a Tuesday~

Never knew why I~

Feel this way~

It’s a beautiful day~

And its way too bright~

Because the sky ‘aint gray~

Cause the clouds float by~

Like any other day~ (Hey hey~)

It’s starting to rain~

But still I say~

It’s beautiful day to me

Because my mind’s so calm~

And the rain keeps me

True to my way~

Because it’s just another day

Another beautiful day

(Whoa ho ha)

It’s a wonderful day~

Just need to say~

That today is now night~

With a much delight~

The night so fine~

Moon glows with a shine~

That excites the mind~

And makes the bad so kind~

Another beautiful day

And it all starts the same

Again the next day~

With the wind so fair~

It seems I’m there~

Out on the peak of the world

With the Sea near by~

Breathing the air~

With these wonderful things I see

Kiba Okami

Poetryz

Elders

Incapable of fun,

Burnt minds,

Saddened hearts,

Simple depressions,

Unable to eat,

Rejecting drinks,

Growing weak,

Trembling from pain,

Sleep is fleeting,

Walking is torture,

Laying down is simply sore,

Running is out of the question,

Swimming is shear suicide,

Death laughs at your simplicity,

Always looking towards the light as a way out,

When darkness is the only way to bring out the light,

Tired of being more then you are now,

Replacements can be found,

Some young and others old,

But never are they able to remember what you’ve done.

By: Kiba Okami

Use

No rest, no need, not dead, I appease,

Still tired, still there, still living, I am giving,

Every hour, every place, every person, I am not gone,

From time, from here, from people, I am not still better,

At timing, at staying, at helping, I am not still here after everyone,

Unrest, unneeded, undead, unfulfilled.

By: Kiba Okami

Life by the sword

With sword in hand, I charge to greater places,

With sword in hand, I face great challenges,

With sword in hand, I fight many things,

With sword in hand, I fall in love,

With sword in hand, I lose my friends,

With sword in hand, I face the world,

With sword in hand, I almost die,

With sword in hand, I simply age,

With sword in hand, I die by the sword I held.

By: Kiba Okami 10/17/2011

The pity of false evils

Incapable of simplicity

Not wanting other opinions

Never listening to anyone else

Always leaving the marks of hate

Making the children cower in fear

Still tormenting the people of this town

Waiting for the “Hero” to appear and end you

When that “Hero” appears, what will you do?

Will you go and face them with a calm mind?

Will they make you cry in pain as you hit the ground?

Will you face them with sword in hand?

How about a lance or a knife?

If you lose, will you run?

Separate ways

 Separate ways

Look at a blank page and tell me what you see,

We see it as nothing,

However it should be seen as a clean slate,

A slate of possibilities,

A place of new order, new hope even

I do not see that I should be the one who writes on this “Pure tablet”

I do not see why I should do anything

I do not see how I would affect you

I am nothing more then a figment of your mind

Just an illusion of this world

Just a human on the earth below us

Only you could see me as I am

Only you could hear what I had to say

Only now did I see I was dependent on you

Only now do I see we must part ways

Only now do I leave

I leave for the better of you and I.

Next time I do hope you to say Hi

Until then I am no more involved with you then that empty page is to me

Kiba Okami